


Crossing the Line

by tocourtdisaster



Category: Law & Order: Criminal Intent
Genre: Alternate Universe, Community: 11_reasons, F/M, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-11
Updated: 2009-12-11
Packaged: 2017-10-04 08:39:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 4,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tocourtdisaster/pseuds/tocourtdisaster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eleven ways Robert Goren and Alexandra Eames break the no-fraternization policy. Written during Season 6 and, having been Joss-ed, now AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Piano

**Author's Note:**

> Each chapter is a distinct ficlet, a story in an of itself, though they have been posted in some semblance of chronological order.
> 
> Prompt: Arms/Hands/Fingers

It’s been a rough few weeks at work and so when they decide to get shit-faced together in the middle of the week, neither of them even thinks about the consequences. She buys the tequila and he picks up the pizza and they’re both drunk before six in the evening and they feel in control of themselves for the first time since they were called to a crime scene at four in the morning three weeks ago.

She’s sprawled out over the couch and he’s sitting on the floor with his head leaning back and resting against her side and she’s warm and content and can’t think of anywhere else she’d rather be right now than right where she is.

He reaches for the bottle of tequila that’s sitting on the coffee table and she can’t help but admire his long-fingered hands and so she asks him if he ever thought of learning to play the piano. She tells him that he would be well-suited to play it and that he’d be better than she ever was. Her hands have always been too small to play well, but her mother made her take lessons anyway. She can still play a few tunes decently but she’s sure he would be able to play much better than she was ever able to.

He drinks straight from the bottle before he sets it back on the coffee table where it’s safer than if he had placed it on the floor. He tells her that he took piano lessons because his mother loved the sound of it and that he still plays for her sometimes when he goes to visit her on the weekends, that Carmel Ridge has a beautiful baby grand in one of the lounges. She can hear the pain in his voice and reaches out to him and threads her fingers through his graying hair until her skin meets his and she can tell him without words that she is there for him.

When he turns to her, she is already smiling and her fingertips are tingling from their contact with his scalp and he smiles back and they both realize in that moment that he is not going home tonight.


	2. Quirks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Nose/Sense of Smell

The first time she saw him sniff a corpse, it disgusted her. Truth be told, it still disgusts her, but now she better understands the reasoning behind it. He needs to know that he did everything in his power to understand the crime so he can find the perpetrator of said crime and sometimes that includes sniffing out olfactory clues from dead bodies.

She used to shudder and look away in distaste. Couldn’t he show a little more respect for the dead? Now, she’s learned to hide the shudder and makes smart ass quips about Wonder Boy’s wonder nose. The vic’s last meal consisted of mushrooms and provolone cheese? Couldn’t he have just waited for the autopsy report and read the part about stomach contents?

But then they go home at night and she forgives him his quirks because he’s wrapping his arms around her from behind and burying his face in her hair and breathing her in and, God, has it been a long day. She can feel his nose pressed against the side of her neck and his breath warm against her shoulder and all she can do is cover his hands on her stomach with her own and lean back against his warm chest and let him support her.

They’re still standing in the entryway, haven’t taken off their coats or even locked the door yet and all she wants to do is stay like this until they can’t anymore. But they both know that’s not practical and she manages to hold back her sigh when he pulls away and she hears the deadbolt engage. But then his arms are around her again and they’re still both wearing their coats and this time it’s his lips pressed against the side of her neck and not his nose and she doesn’t try to stop the contented sigh from passing her lips.

She feels him smile against her skin and she smiles too and when he tells her he loves her, she doesn’t hesitate in replying in kind.


	3. Baseball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Predilection

She was raised in a house full of Mets fans and even though she doesn’t have a particular liking of baseball, she calls herself a Mets fan and hates the Yankees out of principle rather than reason. She takes her father to at least one game a season and listens to him go on and on about player stats and rumored trades and explains the in-field fly rule to her for the thousandth time and she has the time of her life.

This year, not for the first time, their game is rained out and when she finally gets home after dropping off her father, she’s finally started to dry off somewhat. But because she hates soggy clothes with a passion, she locks her door and then strips down right there in the entryway of her apartment.

She hears movement in the apartment and looks up as he stops short and stares at her, his mouth hanging open. With a smile, she picks up her sodden clothing and slips past him towards the laundry nook and the bedroom and dry clothes. When she comes into the living room a few minutes later, he’s slouched down on the couch with a beer in hand, watching the Yankees wallop the Tigers. She sits down next to him and he promptly puts his arm around her and pulls her close and offers to change the channel if there’s something else she wants to watch.

She just shakes her head and snuggles deeper into his embrace and smiles when he eventually starts talking about player stats and rumored trades and explains the in-field fly rule to her and she is selfishly glad that the Mets game got rained out, even if she does hate the Yankees.


	4. Official

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Elegant and Intriguing

They haven't been together for very long before they start talking about marriage. True, they have been partnered together for years but this is a different sort of together and even though they know each other better than any other person alive, part of him can't help but feel like they might be taking things a bit fast. Every time he thinks that, though, the greater part of him remembers that she is his life so why should they wait any longer to make what they have official?

One of the first things she tells him is that she doesn't want a big wedding. She's already had white lace and pearls and she didn't even want it then and she doesn't want it now. He can't help his tangible relief at her statement because he doesn't know if he can take a huge wedding with her side of the church full while his is empty. But he's getting ahead of himself now because they're just talking; they haven't made anything official and he isn't even sure he's planning on making it official so soon.

They're sitting on the couch together talking about this, the TV providing a pleasant background noise to their conversation and she asks him what he wants. He knows that she's talking about weddings but that doesn't stop him from answering with a single word before pressing his lips against hers: you.


	5. Necklace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Clothes/Accessories

She has never been one to wear much jewelry, even before her late husband’s death. She wears departmental props when they go undercover and she has to play the doting wife or the bitchy wife or the demanding wife and she has a matching necklace and bracelet that she wears to official functions, but that’s it. She has a simple style that doesn’t include jewelry and she is happy that way.

So when he proposes, she isn’t surprised when he doesn’t produce a big, flashy ring in a big velvet ring box. He hands her the plain long box and she opens it and sees a beautiful diamond solitaire on a simple gold chain and she looks back up at him and he is smiling. He doesn’t drop to one knee and he doesn’t launch into some over-rehearsed speech and he doesn’t stutter when he asks one simple question that will affect the rest of their lives.

She knows that he knows her answer even before she speaks and so she just asks him to help her put the necklace on and his smile could light the whole of the city, it’s that bright. She pulls her hair aside so he can fasten the clasp and when she feels his lips against the back of her neck, pressing the clasp into her skin, she can’t help the shiver and sigh of contentment that action causes.


	6. Smile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Smile/Smirk/Grin

Their last few cases have been complete and utter hell, what with her being abducted and then both of them being held at gunpoint by a fellow cop and then the deputy commissioner’s daughter being murdered and she doesn’t think he’s slept since before his mentor showed up and threw their lives into complete chaos. But they still go to work, they still catch the bad guys, they still piss off their new captain and they still go home together each night, too emotionally and physically exhausted to do anything but watch a few hours of mindless TV and go to bed.

She isn’t sure when she notices that he never smiles anymore and she isn’t sure when it starts to bother her; all she knows is that she’s noticed and it bothers her. Maybe he stopped smiling when his mother’s health started to decline too rapidly to keep track of. Or maybe he stopped smiling when he dared the captain to fire him and the captain didn’t take the bait. Or maybe it was when she stopped catering to his insecurities and he realized that even though she loved him she wasn’t going to put up with his bullshit forever.

It’s finally Sunday and even though they got called into the office yesterday, they still have the day off and she is bound and determined to spend at least half the day in bed and the other half running the errands that have continually gotten pushed back by work. She is surprised, then, when she wakes around ten-thirty and he is still in bed next to her instead of up and looking at case files like she expected him to be doing. What is even more surprising is the fact that he is still sleeping and not just laying there with her until she wakes up.

In an odd reversal of their usual roles, she rolls onto her side and faces him and just watches him sleep for a little while, wondering what he’s dreaming about that has him frowning slightly in his sleep. If she asks him, he will claim that he doesn’t remember or he’ll just refuse to tell her, so she accepts the fact that she will more than likely never know the content of his dreams.

Slowly, gently, so as not to wake him, she caresses his face, his stubble tickling the palm of her hand, his breath warm against her wrist. She isn’t trying to wake him but he’s too highly attuned to her to remain asleep for long and after only a few minutes, his eyes slowly open and he glances at her sleepily. She doesn’t take her hand away and she doesn’t apologize for waking him and she doesn’t ask him what he was dreaming about. She just lays there, palm against his cheek, willing him to not look away.

And he doesn’t look away. He doesn’t ask her what she is doing and he doesn’t want to know how long she’s been watching him sleep and he doesn’t volunteer the content of his dreams. He doesn’t speak at all and he doesn’t look away from her. And, for the first time in what seems like forever, he smiles.


	7. Release

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Melancholy/Sadness

His mother dies sometime between Wednesday and Thursday and they are both asleep when he gets the call from her doctors. They try to comfort him with all the standard platitudes but all he can hear is a buzzing in his ears and all he can feel is shock and he hardly notices when she takes the phone from his limp hand and speaks to the doctors for him. After she hangs up, she wraps her arms around him and rests her chin on his shoulder and doesn’t say a word and there aren’t enough words in all of the languages he knows to express his gratitude towards her in this moment.

He knows he should be upset or sad or angry but the only emotion he can feel about his mother’s death is relief. He is relieved that she is finally free of her demons, that he is finally free of her demons and he feels guilty for feeling relieved. He has been losing her his entire life, has had to care for her alone for longer than he should have and so he can’t feel sad or mad or angry at anyone but himself for feeling so relieved.

He doesn’t even realize that he’s started to cry until he feels her small hands upon his face wiping away his tears and caressing his stubbled cheeks. He knows that she thinks he is crying for his mother, but she is wrong. He’s crying for himself and his life spent caring for a woman who should have cared for him and because he doesn’t know how to live a life that’s not spent researching the latest cocktail of anti-psychotics and the effects they might have on his dying mother. He is scared and when he looks into her eyes, he knows that she can see his fear as clearly as if it were written there.

Her eyes tell him that they will be all right, that they will get through this together and to hell with what the department tells them is proper conduct between partners. She will hold his hand at the funeral and take leave with him and won’t go back to work until he is ready to face the worst that humanity can throw at them once again.

He kisses her then and is more in love with her in that moment than he ever thought was humanly possible. His tears wet both their faces and when she pulls away to call their captain and let him know why his best team won’t be in to work for the next while, he wraps his arms tight around her middle and doesn’t let go.


	8. Anchor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Diligence

  
It’s Monday morning and his mother’s funeral was two days ago and they are both back at work after a sleepless weekend. She tried to talk him into taking a few more days, but he threw her own history back in her face and said if she can go back to work three days after her husband’s funeral then he can go back to work two days after his mother’s. So here they are, sitting across from each other at their desks in the bullpen working on the backlog of paperwork that is always there and waiting to catch a case.

She glances up at him through her bangs and thinks that he looks like he’s aged a decade in the past few days. She’s sure that she doesn’t look her best either and suddenly realizes why none of their colleagues have tried to speak to them beside casual greetings. Everyone is scared of one of them blowing their top and she can’t say she blames them.

She is jolted out of her thoughts by the captain at her shoulder who is wondering what they hell they’re doing back at work since he gave them each a week of leave, his for bereavement, hers out of her vacation days. He didn’t even hesitate when she asked for the time; he learned very quickly after she was abducted that they don’t function well apart and he wasn’t anxious for a repeat performance.

Sarcasm rolls off her tongue as she tells the captain that they couldn’t stay away for very long or the whole department might collapse and nobody wants that so that’s why they’re back at work early. The real reason, the one she doesn’t say out loud, is that they were both going stir crazy and that if they didn’t come back to work then he would go mad in his grief and she doesn’t think she is strong enough to bring him back if he were to fall right now.

The captain is shaking his head at her flip reply and then he’s telling them that a call just came in and they’re on the case. All they know is that it involves two prominent musicians dead and that the mayor himself pushing for a solve. So they leave their paperwork behind and they manage to get the elevator car to themselves on the way down to the parking garage and she knows she’s risking getting caught but she has to let him know that she will support him and she smiles into his jacket when he holds her tight after she wraps her arms around his waist.

They pull apart as the elevator doors open but the parking garage is empty this time of day so she steps so that their arms are brushing and she can take his hand and hope that this simple contact will be able to sufficiently anchor him until they can sneak another moment alone.


	9. Reception

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Sing/Dance/Act

It isn’t the first time they’ve danced together and it won’t be the last, but it’s the first time they’ve done so publicly without making up some excuse to do so.

They are at her younger brother’s wedding reception and most of the guests are cops because the groom is a cop and they don’t care that their dance will become fuel for the rumor mill because they are sick of the game. They are sick of pretending that they are just partners, that they don’t love each other, that they don’t go home together every night, that they don’t share a bed.

Every eye in the reception hall is fixed on them as they gracefully make their way around the dance floor. His lead is sure and for once she follows without question. She is cradled against his body, her head tucked beneath his chin and there are contented smiles on both of their faces. Her eyes are closed but his are open if only so he can avoid running into the other couples on the floor.

The song ends and if they pull apart now they can blame the atmosphere of the reception for their lack of judgment and mitigate the damage done to their careers, but that is the last thing either of them wants. Without speaking a word, they have decided that they are sick of hiding and pretending and so they don’t pull apart at first. They stand on the dance floor, bodies still pressed together and everyone is still watching them intently. After a moment, she steps back and he drops the hand that had been against her back, but he keeps his grip on her other hand as they turn and head back to their table.

It takes a moment for the rest of the guests to remember that these two people are not the couple of the hour and just as suddenly as every eye turned to them, every eye now turned to the newly married couple making the rounds around the room.

Once he is sure that they are no longer the center of attention, he turns to her and smiles the gentle smile he reserves for her and her alone. She smiles back and squeezes his hand beneath the table.


	10. Cover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Season/Weather

They are both native New Yorkers and even though they are used to the bitter cold that comes in the winter months, neither of them likes it much. She has what he calls an unhealthy obsession with winter outerwear and he has enough scarves for the entire city, or so she claims. They both hate bundling themselves in several layers every day just to walk down to the corner and pick up bagels before they head into the City for another day spent chasing bad guys.

The only perk to the bulky coats and multiple layers of shirt and sweaters and jackets is the fact that all that fabric helps to conceal the weight she has started to gain around her midsection. Most people wouldn’t even notice the few pounds she’s put on, but she’s already had one baby so she notices every ounce of baby weight.

She is probably a little old to be having a baby, but neither of them planned on it and the doctors say that everything looks good so far and they both want this child so they don’t even think of the alternative to continuing the pregnancy. She’s already done that and even though she doesn’t regret her decision, she can’t help thinking of the what-ifs and she doesn’t want to play that game again. This is their one shot to have a family and even his fear of passing on his mother’s illness can’t dampen their excitement.

She takes off her coat when they finally make it into work and she feels eyes on her and turns to see the captain watching her. And suddenly she remembers that he was married once and that he has two boys and he would recognize baby weight for what it is. She curses herself for her wardrobe choice this morning of a light sweater and no jacket and no extra fabric to hide her little belly and suddenly realizes that she and her partner, her lover, the father of her child, are going to be called to account for their actions.

When the captain calls them into his office, their eyes meet and they know without words what they will say. They will not deny what they have and if the captain forces them to make a decision between their personal or professional relationship, they both know which side will win.


	11. Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Kindness

They haven’t even been working with their new captain for eight months before he calls them into his office and asks about the rumors that are flying around the entire department. They can see in his eyes his hope that they will deny everything so he can get on with his life and not have to split up his best team.

But they are done with lying and hiding and pretending, so she tells the captain that if they were to deny the rumors, then they would be lying and when he looks shocked she tells him that he demanded an honest answer and that’s what he got.

She looks to the man seated beside her as he starts to reason with the captain. They haven’t let their personal relationship interfere with work in the time that they’ve been together so what makes him think that something will change now? They were the squad’s best team before they found their way to each other and they are still the squad’s best team many months afterwards. They’ve become skilled at separating the personal and professional aspects of their partnership.

The captain just shakes his head and looks at them almost kindly and tells them that he wishes he were able to turn a blind eye but he can’t and that he will have to inform the brass of their conduct. He tells them that he will go to bat for them but that they shouldn’t get their hopes up because he’s not sure he’s owed enough favors to ensure their continuing partnership.

What he leaves unspoken is something that all three of them know. If the brass push for their reassignment, they will both resign and then the squad and the department will be without them. A few hours later, that threat is deemed unnecessary by the Chief of Detectives. The brass will turn a blind eye as long as their solve rate continues to go unchallenged and they will pretend that they don’t know that their two best detectives love each other, that they go home together at night, that they share a bed.

She smiles at the thought of not having to pretend anymore and finds it oddly ironic that they spent so long trying to fool the brass and now the brass are trying twice as hard to fool themselves.

****

**

**The End**


End file.
